"The Hard Way" - Song #3 on "The Elm Tree"

Behind the song:
This was the first song that I wrote specifically for “The Elm Tree.” I loved the guitar part and wanted a catchy line to sing. I had the lyric “I found out the hard way” and loved how it sang. The problem was, I didn’t know what it was that “I found out.” I spent months trying to put the right words together. And, as it always goes, when I stopped trying to force the lyric, it came to me.

I was watching my son revel in the mud in our backyard. He loved the moment he was in. He had no thought of the possible mess he would track into the house.

I realized that we let important moments slip by us. There’s a point in our lives when we stop enjoying squishing mud between our toes. When we talk to someone, we look over their shoulder to see if there is someone more important to talk to. We pull ourselves out of the moment we are in and worry about the next one. We need to enjoy every moment.

In the studio:
I wanted this to feel like a group of strangers meeting accidentally in a park. They are going through the park with their eyes on the ground. As they hear the music, they look up. They see the park around them. They see a friend in the person they just met. They add to the music. They enjoy the moment they are sharing.

We wanted a casual and laid back feel to the vocals and instrumentation. We used instruments that would be easy to carry through a park: guitar, triangle, tambourine, trumpet, bass, snare drum, and bass drum. We rounded out the percussion section with some knee slaps, handclaps and my car keys.

When we work together and listen to each other, we can create beautiful music.

Your conversation
Fills these walls
I know. I know. I can’t believe this
We should jump before we fall.

Your communication
Coded and classified

I give you hints where hints are hard to follow and build up a home

I found out the hard way
That this life is made up of the moments that pass us by
I’m here for this moment with you
And I won’t let it go

These lines are showing
The years you had to know
There’s so much to do so much to leave for
And we stumble through it all

This path is beaten
But I won’t look down

I follow creases where the lines are pointing and build up a home

I see now the slow drought that dried up my bones
I slow down to enjoy the road that leads me home.

My hands are ready
Though burdened and heavy
Instead of complaining
I’m leaving them dirty

A moment to steady
I’m willing and ready
To hold you up now

I’m through retreating
Regretting, defeating
No more misleading
I’m happy you’re breathing

As long as you’re willing
I’ll love you out loud